Dear ________
Thank you for obtaining the letters from the families so quickly – I immediately forwarded them onto the email address that we have for the Safety Home, marked for the urgent attention of Ms ______and Ms ______. I also printed out the emails and those were faxed off to them under cover of a separate letter for each family.
I do not think Ms _______ had received those letters when she telephoned our offices an hour ago. She referred to the letter we had sent her insisting on some feedback (otherwise we would presume that they didn’t want us to try and assist these children).
She was so rampant and mad with me that I can only presume that she had just received that first letter (yes, the very one that we faxed, emailed, and again faxed and emailed yesterday). Her voice was shaking and she was close to tears. She was furious that we were “telling them what to do” and “chasing them up”. She told me that it was up to them as social workers to move the process forward and that they were busy with their “investigations”. She was unable to tell me one single thing that they had done. She was also cross about us offering to assist with the advertising costs – I told her that she herself had told me to speak to _____, that _____ was the one who told me that was the next step from her side but that the financial implications were ________ is a child protection organisation that has its own social worker, as she kept on referring to the “attorneys” in most derogatory terms, telling me that the placement of children was a matter that should only involve social workers and social development, not lawyers, and even when I gently reminded her several times, that the conversations she was referring to were the ones she personally had with me, as President of _______, she didn’t seem to get it.
I explained that the reason that I had gone back to her at the beginning of May was because she had told me to (that was a month after we had previously chatted), and that we were now in June a further month down the track and that it was clear that absolutely nothing had happened from their side… I pointed out to her, that in my experience, every day counted and that I woke up each morning with urgency for each child who could potentially be placed with a family. I reminded her that even if the children’s birth families were to come forward and be able to care for them, that we would all rejoice at that, but that in the absence of anyone doing anything to find those parents or to advertise for them, nothing was moving forward at all to secure the futures of these two children.
She told me that I had two options – to “leave the matter” (as in, walk away and leave the children right where they were) or alternatively, not to have any further contact with them and they in their own time would let us know what was happening.
I asked if we went with the second option whether she would be prepared to at least let us have interim updates on the situation and what was happening from their side, as obviously there were two families with expectations and also papers that were valid for a limited time period. She thought that was a preposterous idea and told me in no uncertain terms that she would not be prepared to provide us with any updates and that is was out of the question.
Towards the end of the conversation, she accused me of trying to “tell them what to do” and of “undermining the Home by not following due process” simply because they were a Black organisation. I had to take a deep breath as I explained to her that some of my very dearest friends are Black, that my life is devoted to helping Black children find families, that some of my honorary godchildren and families with whom we vacation are Black…
I did not feel that I had the right to “scupper” these two potential placements, so you will be pleased to know that I bit my tongue, agreed to everything she said, and told her I would advise you as the agency, who would in turn let the families know, and that I looked forward to hearing from her at some stage in the future!!!!!!!
There may well be further feedback from her once she has read the letters from the families, in which case, I will be sure to let you know straight away.
In the meantime, though, you are welcome to forward all or any part of this email to the families to give them strength for the wait…
With kind regards,
________
As you can imagine, this letter came as a shock and I was in tears because of it. At this point, we weren't sure what to do.
Then, on June 8th, we received the following letter:
Dear ________
I drove out to _______ Court early this morning to spend time with the Children’s Court Commissioner there before he went into Court – he was horrified to hear how things have been delayed…
I would like to send an email with the little information that we have on the children to the ______ Children’s Court Commissioner, asking her to please confirm that these children fall under her jurisdiction and further asking her to formally request, with time limits, proper information and a detailed report from the social worker so that we can ascertain whether these two children are adoptable. I will reiterate our offer to assist with the advertising costs.
You need to know that this is a risk. The Commissioner may refuse. Even if she agrees, it will in all likelihood burn bridges once and for all with the Director and social worker at the Home. The report that is provided (if it is standard) will not suffice for Hague purposes and we will need thereafter to get an additional social worker’s report filed to properly meet all requirements. That could also be difficult if the Home and its Director and Social worker refuse to co-operate.
Having said all that, I really do not think there is any other option for these families, and for these children.
Please would you confirm that I can go ahead and email the Court, with the request that they insist that an investigation is done so that the Children’s Court enquiry can be finalised, even though it is high risk?
I look forward to hearing from you.
With kind regards,
___________________
I drove out to _______ Court early this morning to spend time with the Children’s Court Commissioner there before he went into Court – he was horrified to hear how things have been delayed…
I would like to send an email with the little information that we have on the children to the ______ Children’s Court Commissioner, asking her to please confirm that these children fall under her jurisdiction and further asking her to formally request, with time limits, proper information and a detailed report from the social worker so that we can ascertain whether these two children are adoptable. I will reiterate our offer to assist with the advertising costs.
You need to know that this is a risk. The Commissioner may refuse. Even if she agrees, it will in all likelihood burn bridges once and for all with the Director and social worker at the Home. The report that is provided (if it is standard) will not suffice for Hague purposes and we will need thereafter to get an additional social worker’s report filed to properly meet all requirements. That could also be difficult if the Home and its Director and Social worker refuse to co-operate.
Having said all that, I really do not think there is any other option for these families, and for these children.
Please would you confirm that I can go ahead and email the Court, with the request that they insist that an investigation is done so that the Children’s Court enquiry can be finalised, even though it is high risk?
I look forward to hearing from you.
With kind regards,
___________________
That same day I wrote on my blog, "Our friend (who is adopting a child from the same orphanage) had the idea to try one more time to reach out to the director of the orphanage before we approach the court. She wrote a very heart felt, humble and sincere letter that will hopefully soften her heart. I won't share the letter that she wrote, for privacy's sake. But the Mr. and I are also hoping and praying that this will work."
